A Ray of Sunlight!

Sometimes, it is the most humbling of experiences that part the clouds and let in the sunshine. Read about JS Spirit’s experience with this very thing.

On May 29th, I made an Instagram post that provided a challenge to myself and anyone who wanted to participate.  It was about committing to a month long obsession of positive thoughts about one’s self, and by extension – their entire life.  This seemed like a fitting challenge for me at the time.  Due to the continuous months of extreme upsets, I could definitely feel myself fighting a more negative internal dialogue about myself and life circumstances as the months continued on.  I found it easy to have faith for others, and believe whole-heartedly in the grace and goodness that was sure to surround them.  Yet sadly, I was finding myself too exhausted to extend that same kindness onto me.  I was wore thin, and my usually sunny disposition was replaced with a sort of vague outlook on all personal things within me.  This was a huge signal to me that something needed to change, and it was in part the reason I took a hiatus from all external demands.

Well, as I stated in that post, I was going to journal every day about positive thoughts, feelings, and outlooks within myself and my surrounding life circumstances.  Personally, I find journaling very therapeutic.  I think it is quite beneficial in the area of emotionally and intellectually processing one’s internal systems.  In the beginning of June, I did find it a little challenging to find that ray of sunshine within.  It was sort of like looking up at a grey and cloudy sky without seeing any sunlight.  However, I did find at least three things that I could be positive and optimistic about.  As the days of June progressed, my positively obsessive journal entries got longer and easier.  By the end, I didn’t even feel the need to write out my ‘happy thoughts’ to make them feel real and complete.  

This process of letting the sunlight in wasn’t only a mental process I was doing during the month of June.  All along, I was emotionally investing in myself in uplifting and healthy ways.  I took time to recognize the unhealthy habits I had fallen into during the past six months, and took active steps to replace them with the healthier ones I had known before.  I listened to my body when it told me it needed to rest or relax.  I actively sought out fun-filled adventures, even though I was still engulfed in a sea of fatigue.  The point was, I was purposely becoming mindful about the more positive, healthy, and life-lasting activities that I knew  (from previous life experience) would lead me back to sunnier days.

It wasn’t until the church service that I attended yesterday, that I felt like the clouds really parted ways.  The pastor, who’s sermons I really enjoy as they always seem to come from a perspective of love and humility, was speaking about freedom.  He talked passionately about the human condition that surrounds the aspect of freedom.  His teaching point was that freedom is a two-part process.  At first, I wasn’t sure what he meant by this.  Then he went on to explain that freedom is indeed made up of the external factors that we are granted…our inalienable rights, so to say.  However, he also spoke of the freedom that comes from within.  This freedom, which is won on a personal and internal level; the freedom we grant within ourselves to love completely, forgive whole-heartedly, and accept the greatness within our human condition.  Of course, he spoke about the challenges and difficulties that come with that.  He also noted the continuing process that this quest entails.  However, this message struck a cord within me.  Quite frankly, it humbled me.  

You see, I am always seeking to better myself.  I try to do this in a way to overcome the confinements of my human condition.  Within myself, I feel the urge to be free.  I strongly desire the fortitude to fly free within this sometimes overwhelmingly oppressive world.  The external challenges of these last six months have shown me miracles, heart-ache, joy, loss, pain, courage, defeat, and the best and worst of our human conditions.  I have felt elevated and overjoyed at times, and completely spent and exasperated at others.  Through all of this, I was trying to hold onto the core value of God and love that I had known from previous life experiences.  Thankfully, this time around, I knew of his constant presence and steady hand.  However, sometimes knowing isn’t as easy as experiencing.  

As I sat in the back pews of this little country church I attend on a Sunday morning, I began to fully see the shackles I had reattached within myself.  I was having trouble catching my breath because my soul and essence didn’t feel free.  I was struggling to see the sunshine because my heart had become overburdened and I had forgotten to hand it all over.  I was struggling because I was trying to master my human condition, all by myself.  

This beautiful, simple, and powerful message hit me like a gentle wave.  I remembered the key factor to our human masterpiece…the great and powerful God!  I was shouldering the worries of the world upon my solitary shoulders again.  I was weighed down by responsibilities I can not fully control.  Yet most importantly, I had forgotten to feed my spirit and release my soul from the pitfalls of our man-made world. 

I had blocked out sweet gentleness in an effort to muscle through.  I had detached my needs from the current situation because it felt like there just wasn’t enough time.  I had lost perspective of the what-why-and who behind all that truly matters.  Because of all of this, I had lost my shine.

Now, recognizing this and changing directions are two different activities.  Thankfully, I do recognize the missing piece to my healthy and balanced puzzle.  Honestly, I have to accept that it will take time to correct, heal, and overcome the challenges I let back in. 

Enter the Turtle!

What can calm down the frenzied and hectic energy of the white rabbit? Check out this new blog post by JS Spirit to find out!

This post is a continuation from the ‘White Rabbit Syndrome’ post that I made a few weeks prior.  In that post, I spoke of having the ‘White Rabbit Syndrome.’  For me, this basically amounted to an intensely strong urgency to get moving on and toward something without any clear understanding of where I was going and what I was supposed to accomplish.  I spoke of some of the external events that lead me to turn away from that hectic and often unsettling inner energy of the white rabbit.  However, the changes I desired to make would not have been possible without introducing a new, healthier, counter energy into my internal mix.

You see, according to the laws of physics, the introduction of something new had to occur in an intentional and purposeful way for positive change to take place and old, stubborn habits to break.  In science, it is said that nature abhors a vacuum.  What this means is that within all places of the Universe, there is no place where absolutely NOTHING can exist.  SOMETHING has to fill that space because there is no such thing as emptiness within our natural world.  This is true across the board and within every aspect of life.  For example, our own physical bodies will fill a newly opened and vacated hole with fluid or an internal substance because it is scientifically impossible for NOTHING to exist there.  How this translates to our own internal processing system is simple. 

When we remove, or empty out the space of something old (like a bad habit), there is a momentary gap or lack of anything existing there.  If we are not intentional and purposeful with what we want to change in our life, some new and perhaps less healthy habit will come along and replace it.  This will happen with or without our own emotional, psychological, or spiritual awareness of it, for nature abhors a vacuum and none of us can outrun the laws that govern our entire Universe.  So, it is scientifically and Universally essential to become mindful in the choices, decisions, and changes that we make.  

 When I recognized the ‘White Rabbit’ energy that had been surrounding me, I realized that I needed to shift and take ownership over this internal urging.  I took some time to think about how I could counter this energy.  Again, another law of physics guided my  internal processing.  According to Newton’s 3rd law in physics, he states that ‘for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.’  So now I had to look at how this Universal law applied to the energy within me.  I reasoned that the equal part for me was finding something to fit into that energetic space that would be compatible with what this space of internal force was trying to accomplish.  The white rabbit was showing up as an energy of movement and purpose for me within this world.  Although its intention was good, the energy was way too high strung and hectic for me to be able to hear or decipher any internal messages that could guide me to the path of my own highest potential.  I was right on board with the energy to get there and get it done, but there was no clear arrow or direction around its overextended urgency.  So, I had to consider what an opposite reaction to the frenzied white rabbit energy would be…a calm, easy-going, slower moving TURTLE! 

Now this sat well within me.  I had a focus point that I could turn to when the white rabbit energy came hampering along.  I could take some slow, deep breathes and invite in the cool, calm, and collected turtle energy to slow things down.  Over time, I even realized what a balanced blend this mix created.  The turtle provides me the calmness and slower pace that I need to maintain my bearing in life.  It also reminds me to move slow enough to hear, see, and internalize the subtle forces that move about to create our natural world…which have proven to be the most reliable factors for me to lean on within my life.  However, I will always have the memory of the white rabbit energy to shine like a beacon upon my path.  It reminds me that God does have a plan and need for me to find my way and own my purpose within this lifetime.

My respite is over!

JS Spirit has some exciting news and amazing updates after her recent break from society.

First off, I would like to say welcome and Thank You to all my recent blog followers.  I am excited to have you along this journey.  As you may know, if you follow my Instagram account @js_spirit_author, I have been on a respite from life and social media for a couple of weeks.  Due to the extreme emotional challenges of the last six months, I was in desperate need of a complete break.  With the most recent challenge of my husband’s mother overcoming a near death experience, my own health was starting to come into jeopardy.  My vital signs were bouncing all over the place, and I was super fried on an emotional capacity.  This meant that the smallest, little upsets that come as a part of everyday modern life felt like huge boulders set to crush the last remaining shred of zest that I had.  Thankfully, as it truly always does, I made it!  Just after the ending of a difficult school year for my daughter, a challenging after school dance schedule that required two hours of travel time a day, and the miraculous recovery of my mother-in-law, I tapped out.  Now, I am sitting here on a bed of ideas, looking at the computer screen feeling the pain of the cartoon man above.

However, I am really happy to be back at work.  After the recharging break, I have a refreshed zest and increased gusto to charge through the challenges ahead to meet my goals.  As was the case when I began this online adventure, I am making big steps in the ways of my life coaching practice, also on Instagram @endless_possibilities_lcs.  I have made some price and service adjustments, all in the favor of my clients.  I am also REALLY excited to announce that I am searching for office space in the downtown district of my hometown.  These are exciting times and I look forward to sharing them all with you.

As an update on the miracle that is my mother-in-law, she is home now after six long and VERY challenging weeks in the hospital.  Although she is still under the outpatient care of a home nurse, occupational therapist, and physical therapist…she is doing AMAZING!  There is no residual damage from the hour long lack of oxygen, or from the paralysis medication.  She has regained enough core strength to be able to stand up, walk, and function normally without the aid of more than a cane.  Her spirit is so strong, and the love that has blossomed from her family has been an overwhelmingly joyous experience.  Her story really is one for the medical record books, and we are all so grateful for the miracles in timing and Divine intervention that made her recovery possible.

My goal is to post a continuation to the ‘White Rabbit Syndrome’ story tomorrow.  However, if the back to work struggles are still strong, it may be next Wednesday.  Again, I am grateful for all the recent influx of support and interest in my work and my journey.  I do post themed things to my Instagram pages, and I am about to launch a new summer social media platform, so go follow or click on the link from this site.  Thank you all!  Wishing everyone an amazing week ahead.